Defending the “sanctity” is just a red herring.

In an editorial I read recently some guy was taking a stand against gay marriage, which is unfortunately rather common. What wasn’t common was his claim that he didn’t care about the sexuality of gay couples, but argued that the sanctity of marriage has throughout written history been only between a man and a woman. This is somewhat true, from a certain point of view.

Marriage in the past did help to guarantee the proliferation of the species, but the legal ramifications of marriage have greatly evolved over the last few centuries. Marriage is no longer needed to ensure procreation. But it has developed into a strictly social, and in many cases religious, construct to publicly display and cement a mutual bond between two people. Usually two people are expected to be sexually intimate.

That last part is where things run afoul. Let’s be completely honest here. The vast majority of people that are against gay marriage also have a near phobia-level problem with homosexuality in general. This fear/dislike of homosexuals is not unlike a bigot’s or racist’s fear/dislike of another’s race, religion or gender. And these negative (and often ignorant) feelings influence our perceptions and our choices.

So if you’re a government leader and you vote to deny homosexuals the right to marry, what is your next step? If you were a racist would you vote to deny a black couple the right to marry? If you are an anti-Semite, then how about Jews? How about mixed race or mixed religion couples? How about low-income or homeless citizens? How about non-citizens? (In the case of one legal citizen and one not) Just where do you personally draw the line Mr. Policymaker?

The fact is that these homosexual couples simply want to publicly declare their mutual bond of love and intimacy, not to mention enjoy the legal benefits that heterosexual couples enjoy. And why not? A homosexual couple can contribute to society and be as responsible, helpful and kind neighbors as any hetero couple. Often striving to be model citizens even more so, considering the social stigma these couples must overcome.

You may personally believe that homosexuality is a sin or a perversion, that’s your right. But your own beliefs shouldn’t hold sway over everyone else. You’ll find that a great many people in this world don't wish to live their lives according to your ideals and opinions. This great country was supposed to be about diversity and tolerance, remember? So please, Mr. Policymaker, look beyond your personal belief system or what you think your peers and constituents expect and use logic and a little empathy when deciding if you should vote for or against gay marriage.

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